


Holster is a Secret Southerner

by b_chocolatecity



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Hockey Practice, bitty and jack are cool, but bits still gets spooked, lowkey crackfic??, maybe? - Freeform, popular southern vacation spots, southern food delicacies, takes place during bitty’s second year, they’ve been working on checking and stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23455783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b_chocolatecity/pseuds/b_chocolatecity
Summary: Based off a @shitty-check-please-aus post on Tumblr that “Holster only drinks iced tea”Practice had been a shit show and Bitty, who is dying for thirst takes a drink of something that is definitely not water...
Kudos: 24





	Holster is a Secret Southerner

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this months ago but I wasn’t confident in it. With everything going on I thought this would bring a small smile to everyone’s day! Enjoy!!
> 
> Post Link: https://shitty-check-please-aus.tumblr.com/post/188775247720/au-suggestion

It had been a rough practice. Jack was on edge and Bitty had collapsed after being approached by Shitty in a scrimmage game. So things were...not great. Coach made the team do suicides and as Holster attempts to skate to his water bottle, he grabs the first thing that says ’B.’ 

“Ugh! This is not my water” 

“Oh, that’s Bitty’s bottle, broski” He hears Ransom say.

As Holster looks towards Bitty, he hears a resounding “bleh” as the realization dawns across the shorter blondes face. He looks down at the bottle and looks Holster dead in the face.

“ADAM J. BIRKHOLTZ” Bitty screams as he marches over. The whole team is silent and cautious 

“My middle name doesn’t start with a J, Bits”

“IRRELEVANT. What is relevant though, is where you are from”

“...I’m from Brooklyn. Brooklyn, New York”

“Ahhh but you hesitated..so tell me, where are you  _ really _ from?”

Holster scratches the back of his neck, “Well..uh...my dad is from Massachusetts and my mom is from South Carolina. They met at NYU, got married, and moved to Brooklyn. Every summer my siblings and I would stay in South Carolina with our Meemaw and go to Myrtle Beach, go fishing, or camp out and catch fireflies…but uh…yeah I’m from Brooklyn. Why do you ask?” As if Holster didn’t already know why he’s asking.

“Well I went to take a sip from what I  _ thought _ was my water bottle, only to get smacked with the greatness that is sweet tea. Once I found out that it was your water bottle, I knew that there had to be another southerner up here in Samwell and I was about to ask you who it was. It couldn’t have been you because you’ve mentioned that you’re from Brooklyn, but as soon as the words ‘South Carolina’ and ‘Meemaw’ came out your mouth, I was, for lack of a better word, baffled! Holster, why didn’t you tell me that you were southern?!” 

“Cause I’m technically not southern, I didn’t grow up there”

“So you’re telling me, that if I went to your Meemaw’s town, everyone there would not know who you are?”

“I mean no, cause everyone knows Meemaw!” He stressed 

“Exactly! And tell me dear Adam, did you make this sweet southern beverage for yourself?”

“Yeah, cause it’s kinda the only thing I drink. There’s water in sweet tea, and I drink enough of that to get the right amount of water” Holster justifies as he hears collective disgust from the rest of the team.

“HAH. That’s something only a southerner would say! Admit it Mr. Birkhotlz! That even though you have the drinking habits of teenager, you are Southern through and through!”

“OKAY YES DAMMIT. I AM SOUTHERN. I CALL MYRTLE BEACH “DIRTY MYRTLE”. I PUT POUNDS OF SUGAR IN MY TEA. I LIVE FOR CHEERWINE. I LIKE COUNTRY FRIED STEAK WITH COLLARDS, MASHED POTATOES AND BROWN GRAVY, AND MAC AND CHEESE. AND NOT THAT KRAFT SHIT OR THE SHIT FROM PANERA BREAD. BUT GOOD ASS MAC AND CHEESE, THE SHIT YOU OUT IN THE OVEN. AND YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE TO FINISH IT OFF WITH?? WARM PEACH COBBLER AND BUTTER PECAN ICE CREAM, THAT’S WHAT!! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW DICKY? IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?”

“Honestly? Yes.”

The whole team is just staring in confusion and horror of what just conspired among them. Finally, Jack breaks the silence with a hand on Bitty and Holster’s shoulders and addresses the team, “Well...uh guys…practice was a shit show so let’s get some rest and start an hour earlier tomorrow, eh? And umm Holster...I need to talk to you about the importance of water,  _ especially  _ at practice, cause I’m not gonna let that shit fly anymore.” 

Holster sulks in defeat “yeah okay, that’s reasonable”

Jack then turns to Bitty, “And you. Apologize to Holster for your behavior, that could have been done much smoother, and you know it.” 

Bitty sulks a bit as well, “ yeah you’re right...I’m sorry Holster, it wasn’t right of me to come at you like that. I should have approached it better. Can I make it up to you with some country fried steak, collards, and mashed potatoes? I won’t touch the Mac and cheese, because that is sacred.”

Holster grins a bit at that “yeah Bits, I’d really like that! Could I maybe, possibly, help you make it as well??”

“Of course honey! I would honestly love that! Maybe you can tell me about Meemaw and I’ll tell you about Moomaw!” 

After an enthusiastic yes from Holster, Jack sends the team off to shower and finish their day, but he and Shitty hang back to pick up any remaining pucks left on the ice. They clean in comfortable silence thinking about the events that just transpired.

“Hey brah...what the hell is Cheerwine??” Shitty asks.

“Honestly Shits?? I have no fucking clue”

They both shrug it off and continue cleaning.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> If you liked this story kudos or leave a comment!
> 
> If you want, read my other works! I have one more in this fandom and another in the Legend of Korra fandom!
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr @b-chocolatecity 
> 
> Stay safe, keep distance, and wash your hands!


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